The Highs and Lows of the Holidays

By: Amanda Wormann

Christmas Eve was always a favorite of mine and Warren's, both as kids and as we got older. He sure loved his eggnog. I love this time of the year – the holiday spirit and magic of the season is alive and well. I live for it. The decorations, the kindness, the unspoken thread of love that ties together all of humanity. It's magic. But still, like many of you, the sadness finds its way in, and the absence of my brother and feeling of emptiness takes over at random, a season of flash floods and sunshine. Ebbs and flows. For me at least. It weighs on me, how all of life can just change and the idea of a future is somehow unknown.

It was just my brother and me, so I always wonder what life and tradition mean for me as my parent's age and, eventually long down the road, leave this world. When you're blessed to be raised with the idea that family is everything, how can you rid yourself of that ever lingering notion that someday you just won't have one? It's a feeling I can't escape sometimes.

Sending love and light to all of you this holiday season, especially those of you who are missing someone you love. You can read my story about how I’ve work through some of my loss here. May it bring some peace and familiarity to know that we're all connected and that you're not alone. The world is a beautiful place, and whenever I'm missing Warren, I try to find him in others. Merry Christmas and Happy Hannakuh!